Bum Leg...

Well it may be over.


Over the past few weeks I have been feeling a bad pain in my lower left leg. I thought it was just strained or whatever, so I kept running on it. I am not sure how good of an idea this was because now I can barely walk. My sister did some tests for me and I can't even balance on my left leg, raise to the ball of my foot or anything. Its excruciating.

I have made it up to 6 miles which is about half way of my half marathon. Honestly, I feel like I am going to have to throw in the towel. I have a month and a half left to complete all of the training and right now I can't even walk.

It's scary...I am only 23 and this is what is happening. Unforunately, my health insurance wont cover anything under 3,000 bucks- so if I had to get an MRI it would be 1,000 bucks, not including the doctor's visits.

I have no idea what I should do.
I am just going to wait it out and hope the pain will magically go away.....

FMYLIFE

I would like to say that by far one of the best websites is fmylife.com
This website makes anyone smile- not matter how much bullshit they have been putting up with in one day. I wonder if somethings are made up, but honestly I don't care. If people can come up with these ridiculous things that happen then more power to them.

Here is a quick listing of my favorites for you newbies:
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

True Friendship

I decided to write this blog about what true friendship is to me. As I sit here to write this, I have a hard time. There are some people in my life that are not truly adding value to me as a person. That is the one thing I always strive for when I have people around me. When I say 'add value' this could be as simple as a phone call, a smile, anything that adds to me as a person, if someone rags on me or brings me down- that is not a friend.

With that being said its often hard to let people go who aren't adding value to me. It is hard that no matter how hard you try to keep a friendship going- sometimes things just dissipate and just can't be saved, I supposed. Is this person just too lazy to call? Am I not as 'cool' as their other friends? Have we truly grown apart? Honestly, I have no idea. The thing that makes the most upset is that I have done out of my way to call- and try to see this person and invite them to everything I am doing. Then when it comes down to their turn- I get blown off.

I have always been the type of person to need closure. I can' t just up and not talk to someone ever again- even if I have drifted like most people do. I always try to continue something, try to call, text; do something to show that I am still here. But should I stop doing this? Should I ride this person off as they have clearly done to me?

I suppose it boils down to the fact of when do I stop trying to call. When should I throw in the towel and say "well I tried here and here and I got nothing." It is so hard to just turn my back on someone- after knowing them for such a long time. It's such a bad situation and I just wish people could know the value of effort.

So far what I have done, is slowly shut people out of my life. I confide in other people now, I call other people, and go out with other people. I don't tell them what is doing on my life. Which honestly eats up me. Because all I want is to be able to truly talk to them about EVERYTHING- good and bad in my life. But when I want to tell them something- I am reminded by the facts.

So I suppose the challenge is now, to decide. Where do we-as friends-or I go from here?

Brand New Day

This song never gets old, and on a night like this I just put it on repeat.....

Brand New Day by Forty Foot Echo

Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down
Now when I look out my window
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around

And I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

We said we'd take little time
For both of us to see
And wonder what it'd be like to carry on
Ya, I know I got crazy
Well I guess that's just me
If I could turn back time before
The wrong

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

Ya, And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
I think I'll change my ways
I think I'll change my ways
Ahhhhh, Ahhhhh
I think I'll change my ways

Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one
To bring you down

Things that make my day

The following is a short list of things that make my day (aka starts my morning off right):

• When Griffin sleeps on Josh's side after he gets up and cuddles
• When I remember my boyfriend kissing me goodbye
• Hearing a fantastic old song on the way to work (ie this morning it was Poison by Bel biv devoe)
• Having the sunshine and warmth come through my office windows- it is truly fabulous
• Not coming into a ton of work related emails
• Coming into a ton of fun emails/facebook messages from friends
• When I get the second pot of coffee at work (the first is always too watery)

...more to come later

The New Macbook Wheel

Some of you may know that The Onion is a newspaper commentary that is a spoof. Well this one is great. I recommend watching this video- it's hilarious.

The idea of a wheel to type instead of a keyboard, and having an email take 45 minutes to type...it's fantastic. But it kind of scares me...what if someday it comes to stuff like that...I will just stick to my keyboard for now!

The Internet is Taking Over Our Lives

I found this interesting article about how the internet is taking over our lives. You can read it here.

Essentially, it solidifies my job and shows how important internet marketing is. People are spending 1/3 of their leisure time during any given day on the internet. That is huge-if people are searching, watching videos or just surfing around they are bound to come into contact with multitudes of advertisements and other marketing tools.

So read the article and see for yourself, I think most of us will find that we fall right into the categories about internet usage.

I did it

So I am not a big New Years Resolution kind of person, but this year I wanted something concrete, where I knew I had to hold up the actual promise to myself that I was going to do something. So this morning I signed up for the Colfax Half-Marathon around City Park. I didn't exactly look up how far a half marathon was....I now know it is 13 miles, but that is besides the point. I am going to do this. I get to sign up a friend for free so I am going to have Josh do it with me. I am really scared now but I already paid for it so there is no going back.
I want to do this because I want to feel in shape. I want to be able to go out and run just to run and enjoy it like I used to. When I was younger I used to go for runs for the fun of it, believe me I don't know how I did it! But I figure 2009 I will turn over that new leaf and do something I am proud of.
So if you see me being lazy, tell me to get off my butt and run, because I know I'm going to need a little motivation!!!

The Fray

So The Fray are playing at the Gothic on January 6th. Tickets from Ticket master at 30 bucks, which is a great deal...however of course they are sold out. They are going for the cheapest 200 bucks from scalpers. I'm sorry, this is just ridiculous!! I bought Josh's birthday present Jack Johnson tickets at Red Rocks for 150 a piece- it was on his birthday at Red Rocks and JJ is pretty much amazing so I can validate spending that much.
Now that is not to say that The Fray tickets aren't as good, but come on...they are playing at the Gothic (for anyone who has been there you know its not the nicest place to play in town) It is a small little venue, and it would be awesome to see them play there. I am just upset that the band set their prices at 30 bucks and instead scalpers scooped up all the tickets and are taking away from the common Fray lover- like myself.
I wish I could go but honestly- I don't know how you can afford a 200 dollar ticket!

So, if any of you are looking to get me a Christmas present....just an idea.. :)

Dispensing men? Count me in!

So I found this article from my media life magazine. It is a pretty ingenious idea, dispensing men from a vending machine! It is of course a fabulous advertising stunt. You put in your money and get to choose what 'type' of man you want. Either romantic, charming, adventurous, you get the picture. Either way, I think it is hilarious and I want to give all of my single friends this for their birthday. I want them to walk down the street, put 50 cents in and get the type of man they want. Read the article and enjoy! :)

http://www.medialifemagazine.com/artman2/publish/Out_of_Home_19/Vending_machine_that_dispenses_men-OOH.asp

Prison Break

All I can say is wow...I mean I had heard the hype about prison break but I guess I didn't realize how good it really was!

Other the past month Josh and I have gone through 3 seasons---we may be considered pathetic at this point. It is so suspenseful and it doesn't hurt that Wentworth Miller is smoking hot! :)

It is interesting to see a show that is actually intelligent and thoughtful. I would like to think I am pretty good at predicting shows, but this one I cannot. It is literally one thing after another to follow.

If you are looking for a new show to watch, pick up Prison Break. It will be worth the money.

love and marriage, love and marrige, they go together like....

So my mother 'sneakily' tried to leave this USA today article on my bed before I came down for the holidays so I could 'stumble' upon it. The article is entitled 'Young People: average age of getting married for women is 26 and men is 28'. (By clicking you too can read this enlightening piece of work). Well of course I read the damn article- which may I just say didn't hold a compelling argument for either getting married older or younger. Basically, in my mind, it flip flopped and said some people get married young others get married older -really you don't say?
I don't know how much I can believe in all the hype about getting married older. They draw comparisons to when our parents got married which was typically when they were around 20. Well obviously! Most women didn't go to college- so their main purpose was to get married and start a family. Now of course, most people do go to college- they finish at age 22 (ish ha!) Then a lot go onto grad school, med school, get their masters, etc.
I am a firm believer that if people grow and learn in love together then that is how people will know they are ready for marriage. If couples have been through hard times and made it through and learned from the situation. If people want to get married at 18, that is fine (my parents did and are together happily after almost 40 years!) My parents met when they were 10- dated throughout most of high school then got married right before my dad went into the army. My parents are each others best friends, which I think is also essential for a relationship. You have be able to be open and honest with each other just like any friendship you have in life.

Indecent Proposal

So on the most Thankful day of the year I watched Incedent Proposal. I've never seen it before- if you watch or have seen it you know what I mean- but it is incredibly far fetched. A rich billionaire offers a couple 1 million dollars for one night with the wife. They at first say no, but they then decide its a good idea to get their life started together. They think that they can forgive and forget easily. I won't say anymore, I would never spoil a movie.
But it really got me thinking about relationships. Not only those between a man and woman, but also friendships, all relationships in general. One quote I thought that was quite inspirational was: "I thought we were invincible. But now I know that the things that people in love do to each other, they remember. And if they stay together, it's not because they forget. It's because they forgive." Wow....isn't this sooo incredibly true? I look at my own relationships with my boyfriend, friends, parents- it is all about forgiving. I don't honestly think I could ever forget all of the bullshit people have put me through, but if I hadn't forgiven people, I doubt I would even have friends or be where I am now. As I say that it makes me very sad. Why do people do things to mess up something that is perfectly good? I have girlfriends who have told me how they mess up relationships because it is too perfect. Haven't we all...unfortunately....
I really like the first line of the quote that says I thought we were invincible. I truly believe everyone thinks their relationships are invincible, fool proof- and when it isn't- it's all about how you bounce back or move on or deal with it in general.
Anyway, on this day I am thankful that I am able to forgive (I am still working on fully forgiving). I am thankful I have people around me that support me, love me and cherish me and my friendship.
Until next time...

It's been awhile....

Well obviously I haven't posted in quite awhile. Some people have given me some inspiration to blog so I thought why not...now is as good of time as any.

Anyway, I went back to my old account and read my old postings and it is very strange to read those things. Honestly, its been 3 years since I wrote about those things- Freshman/Sophomore years of college- and I cannot even begin to express how differently life it.

First of all, I would like to say I am more mature! I read some of the things..and it made me giggle..but you know those were the things happening in my life. Graduating college, the real world, work, and well...everything has changed. It is hard to go back and read all of the elements of my life- ie Kelly- and think about what life was like then.

Either way, life is good now, it's different, it's evolving, it's amazing.

That is really all for now- I am going to TRY to write consistently (we'll see how long that lasts!) Besides-- I am 23 starting tomorrow I need to have some responsibilities ! :)

goodbye kelly....

well...today is the first day in 5 days i haven't cried.....


RIP Kelly....i will always miss my pipe clog, best friend, the fab 5, 3rd roommate, sister, BAMF.....

long overdue.....

wow....its been a little over a month since i last posted...that's probably because i've been out of my mind busy. I finally got back to school, and it has been everything i expected and more. Sophomore year is the best, minus some little drama along the way but we can forget about that. From recruitment (which was amazing and i cannot wait until next year), to getting wonderful wonderful women into our sorority (i honestly could not ask for a better pledge class, i know the girls will keep things going just like my pledge class is), to getting to see my boyfriend who i missed ohh soo much, to rekindling friendships and realizing how important my sisters really are. Its been soo crazy from drunken weekends, to the ISU vs Iowa game, staying up late talking, dancing around and just being crazy girls. I LOVE IT!! this is what college is all about, and over the summer i didnt realize how much i really missed it all. Well i could go without one thing....the work, but this semester i have being going to all the SIs offered, i feel like such a nerd, but i really want to stay on top of things because i promised myself i would. I feel like i have finally found my place in the house, in school, ahh in life. Everything is kinda coming together, and its refreshing. Anyway..i'm off to study....and yes i am studying on a thursday night..who knew that could happen!!
**ME**

There's really no way to reach me....

...cuz i'm already gone. That's how i feel...I feel soo over everything. I am ready for something new, exciting aka school. I'm tired of trying to get back in touch with ISU friends, just get me there and we can pick up where we were. I'm done with talking with my boyfriend on the phone its so blaise. I'm done trying to make an effort with Colorado friends. The summer is over...... I'm just urg in a weird funk. I think it might be the shock that i'm actually going back, i donno. I feel like i'm going through motions lately. It's sad but i think going back to school will change it. Its not that i'm depressed or sad or anything like that. Its just like i'm living but not really LIVING. Kinda sad eh? But i can just wait 5 days for that to change ( or so i hope)...anyway..
bedtime..i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow and its my parent's company picnic..yeppie....
-me

we do it in the rain its right without reason....

lol...really the lyric goes...' I do it on a whim, its right without reason whatever comes to mind I'll pull it from thin air. I've learned to improvise to fill my time I don't want to live this life, no I don't want to live this life without reason. ' --- the fray--- ohh chris is too funny with his made up lyrics...
Anyway...i had the most fun ever this past weekend: skinny dipping, getting sloshed with high school friends, going to THE FRAY concert (if you want to make me mad tell me that you don't like them...bc i will fight you!). It was soo much fun, but at the same time i realized i'm ready to go back to ames! Its like when you get to the end of a relationship and your just like 'eh this is soo over' its alright still but i'm just like welp i've had my fun..i'm done! lol
I have soo much to do before going back...i've started making lists...and ya know that can never be good. My mind is just like going a million miles a minute (maybe that's why i over slept this morning for work!! oops!!).
I like life right now is just kinda there...nothing new, nothing exciting..and maybe that' s why i'm so excited for the busy, fast paced, drama of school. Granted i don't like drama but you know fun new gossip is good...it keeps life interesting. I feel like its just the same old same old here in Colorado. So what are we gonna do this weekend..um...nothing...its just blah! I think a lot of people are feeling this way...a season (summer) is coming to a close and we're all ready to jump off. ok well even on this stupid blog i have nothing to say bc there is nothing!! ohh i'm getting my hair cut sunday..whoa whoa big news i know! I cannot believe next week at this time i will be finishing packing my stuff and leaving the next morning. God i have a shit load to do... urg well time to go call the BF....
"When you close your eyes You hear the music playing You can see her dancing underneath the spotlight And when she sleeps she dreams she’s back in Hollywood When she was a younger girl – a pretty heart in a tainted world Not sure who you wanna be Your daddy’s little drama queen I hope that when you find yourself You’re more than just a baby doll " i'm all about the music!

yet another week rolls on....

I never knew I never knew that everything was falling through That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue To turn and run when all I needed was the truth But that's how it's got to be It's coming down to nothing more than apathy I'd rather run the other way than stay and see The smoke and who's still standing when it clears Everyone knows I'm in Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind ~~~The Fray, Cable Car

I seriously think i could listen to this song over and over. There is something about it that i hear something different everytime i listen to it. Honestly on the way to work i hear it and i blast it and just start singing. I don't care what the people in the other cars think. I always worry about that because one time with the girls we saw this woman rocking out to 'Brown Eyed Girl', and basically she looked like an idiot. And who honestly wants to be the person that people make fun for singing in the car. lol anyway...i diverge (in honor of Mr. Bilello) ohh i'm so funny!
So i had such an uneventful weekend, as my boyfriend so kindly called me a loser, i kinda felt like that, but at the same time I'm like hey...i will be around people 24/7 when i get back to school with no alone time. I need my alone/thinking time now! As i think about all of the things i was planning on doing this summer and now actually looking back, i'm so sad. I haven't seen half of the people i was planning on, i haven't done half the things i was planning on. It sucks in way but really when would i have had time? Working 5 days a week kills ya, and it makes me sad to think i can count on 1 hand the number of times i've seen the guys or people other then Megan and Deidre (altho i love them).
Ok so at work Deidre and I pass time by asking each other, would you rather questions or just the most morbid questions you could come up with. We're pretty ridiculous but it passes the time. For example, if you died tomorrow what would you regret the most doing and not doing?? or has there been a time in your life when you woke up one day and your life completely changed? on a lighter note...would you rather be stapled or paper cut constantly? yes we are insane but honestly its got me thinking about random shit, and i've been having the craziest dreams because of it!! lol In case you're wondering, ...I honestly would like to say that there is nothing i regret doing in my life. I've always tried to live with no excuses, stick to my gut. It's so hard, because at times i actually do think what if...what if i would have said yes to this date, what if i wouldn't have told that guy i liked him. Its weird to think about stuff about that mean where would i be if I wouldn't have been rejected by Kyle Beard in 8th grade when i asked him to dance, for those of you who know him, i know it was a stupid crush lol, but honestly i was devistated!!! lol But looking back on it so many little things could change you life in ridiculous ways. So i guess what i've learned is do things deliberately and don't look back. It's definitely hard! I mean one choice can change who you hang out with, how you spend you life ...etc ...especially when I had to choose which sorority i wanted to join. It was the toughest decision...ohh man...but i was like ok i'm gonna put down Gamma Phi, i did then as i put it down something just was holding me back, i have NO CLUE what it was but its like your gut, your conscience and it just told me that if i didn't choose Sigma Kappa i knew i would be missing out on something. I have yet to figure out what that something is, maybe I am supposed to be there to meet the girls, to help recruit, to build the house. Who knows? I wish i did, because i feel like i am the one chosen to pick up the house and carry it. Its an awful lot to think about but at the same time its something that might be my challenge. That's why i'm looking forward to the next school year and recruitment, to see where i can take myself. It sucks because right now i'm battling myself to become the person i know i can be. Something has changed in college, might be the accessive alcohol lol, the people i'm around, the environment...i donno...but i like who i've become although i wish i could learn to balance it better!! lol ohh man so much to think about, i better shape up in the next few weeks! ha ha
wow ok so that was the longest freakin blog ever...and i rambled and rambled i mean who knew i did that?! lol i guess now you could explain how i have 1500 cell minutes and i STILL went over! oops! eh whatever..those were important convos!
i'm done! ....for now... lol

back to a normal week....

All i have to say is that i officially hate computers....so after not even a year my hard drive on my computer completely died! Seriously how the hell does that even happen? I lost all my pictures, music, urghhh just my LIFE!! ok i know i am being a little over dramatic but it really pisses me off bc i don't want to spend the rest of my summer redoing my computer!
Anyway...other then that everything is just rolling along. After two very busy weekends i am finally back to normal and back to working at Belmar-the children's hour- on weekends. Last weekend was so much fun because Jill came out from Illinois. We went to a drive-in movie..those are always fun especially when its nice out. We saw War of the Worlds and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. All i have to say is save your money and don't go see War of the Worlds! I am definitely not one of the harshes critics on movies, but seriously it was soooo corny!! Hearing Dakota Fanning scream every 2 seconds got annoying and the ending was the worst thing i've ever seen. You'd expect somethign from Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise to be better... On the other hand I expected the worst from Mr. and Mrs. Smith and surprisingly it was good. I hate that Brad Pitt is with Angelina bc she is (just as this 40 year old guy at work calls her) a whore. Eww..she's just gross. But it was actually an interesting movie and there was a really interesting twist. Anyway...Saturday Jill and I met D and Megan for lunch @ 16th street mall in denver then jill and i shopped around. It was fun just to people watch...and this woman on the mall ride comes up to Jill and I and asks for money. Of course both of us are like no sorry we don't have any, then this woman goes ohh ya sure you don't! I know you have some you just don't want to give any to me. You watch out someday you will be in need of money and someone won't give it to you. You watch...someday.... Ya it creeped us out! We were like wow seriously sorry we don't give money to random people on the mall ride....so i guess if I find myself poor with no money i know who to thank, she probably put a hex on us or something! lol So then Saturday night I had a party at my house, yes my parents are becoming 'the cool' parents. It was fun just to drink with the girls and play power hour and just get crunked, but it was a real buzz kill when our ass of friends didn't show up and didn't call us to tell us. Needless to say the crazy drunks in all of us came out...we called Tim probably 20 times and left messages of us screaming/singing songs on his message machine we know he hates...we think we're pretty funny!! So watch out if you ever piss us off you might just get to listen to us sing songs for 5 minutes.
anyway.....i must go..i'm re-reading the book 7 habits of highly effective teens. Well it helped in High school, so hopefully it will help in college. I need to get my priorities back in gear, while still having fun. Plus, its just a nice read to make you feel good about yourself, learn more about yourself, and learn different ways you can change your life for the better. Always a good thing!
Only 3 weeks of summer left...wow time sure does fly!!